Just for fun the other day, I cruised over to my favorite site – the one that always produces a giggle – Fivver. This is where the dreamers meet the schemers.
Below, I copy and post, verbatim, the conversation I had with a potential “employer.”
Enjoy…
“A Dependable Individual Needed for Daily Writing
Please make sure FIRST that you're available for this project. If you're already swamped with too many projects then please don't apply.
I need NATIVE speaking writers from all over the world who can produce quality. Yes, I meant top-notch quality with no grammatical errors or plagiarism.
This will be a long-term project. I need 2-5 articles per day depending on your availability. If you can't provide me consistently with quality articles then don't make your proposal.
I need you to start today (Friday).
Please make sure you can reply to my mail within one or two hour time period. I can't deal with writers who don't respond.
Payment is decent $5 for each 300-500 words article. If you can do a good job I'll increase the rate but I CAN'T tolerate time wasters and people with tons of excuses. PLEASE makes sure your excuses are all buried before making a proposal. I DON'T want people who don't want this permanent position. ONLY apply if you want a permanent writing position. I will report you if you don't keep promise and apply blindly.
Bid for 10 articles. Thanks!
NON-NATIVE speakers MUST not apply.”
My reply…
“You know, I wonder about people like you.
You post a job offer with this line: "Yes, I meant top-notch quality with no grammatical errors or plagiarism."
And a few sentences later you write: "PLEASE makes sure your excuses are all buried..."
Makes? MAKES? Great grammar there!
Then, you write: "I will report you if you don't keep promise and apply blindly."
Again... great grammar: "keep promise"! Missing a "your" there.
And finally... "Payment is decent $5 for each 300-500 words article..."
Decent? Where? Third world countries? You're in Johnson City, NY. According to Salary.com, the median pay for a beginner-writer is $21.77 per hour. That means your writer should crank out 4.35 articles per hour... Just under 2,000 words per hour.
Really? Really! That is your definition of decent pay?
What do you buy in Johnson City for $5? One coffee? Maybe a cheap coffee and a doughnut at the 7/11...
You ask for competent and capable writers, but you want to pay them less than a sweatshop slave.
Do you have no shame?
So, I quoted based on the proper rate for a professional writer: 50 cents per word. I know this is not what you want to see, but you might need a big bite of reality...
Peter T. Britton
PS. I never deny anyone from making a profit. I assume the fees you charge for your services/products are much more than what you describe here as "decent." Based on your request, I am sure you will get exactly what you deserve.”
By the way, as a measuring stick, regular gas prices in Johnson City, NY on July 19, 2013 were, on average, $3.80 per gallon.
So, my quote was for $2,000 for 10 articles.
I got this note from Fivver:
Project Name: A Dependable Individual Needed for Daily Writing Client Reason: Bid does not seem realistic
Here’s the postscript: The job went to three writers: one in Blacksburg, VA, one in Jamaica and one in Kenya. I guess that “Native Speakers Only” requirement is flexible…
Peter T. Britton
Idea Generator. Wordsmith. Resultant.
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